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| Tawny Lara is the award-winning co-host behind the "Recovery Rocks" podcast and author of "Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze" out this September. Below, she's spilling the sobrie-tea on how to live your best NA life. |
| *This interview has been edited for length and clarity. |
| Q: | How has becoming sober affected your overall sense of well-being? | |
| A: I flirted with sobriety for years — taking a week off here and there to "prove to myself that I didn't need alcohol." I quit drinking for my 30th birthday, committing to a social experiment to see what it was like to not drink for a full year and blog about the experience. I wanted to see if alcohol was holding me back as a writer. Spoiler alert: It was! |
| Sobriety isn't just ditching the booze; it's doing the deep, arduous work to discover why I outsourced so much pain to the empty promises of liquid courage. Once I removed alcohol from my life (and started therapy), everything else fell into place. I found my voice as a writer as I worked with a therapist to unpack why I drank to excess so frequently. |
| Q: | What helps to keep you going along your recovery journey? | |
| A: In the recovery community, we often talk about something called our Sobriety Toolbox. These boxes (real or metaphorical) are filled with physical items, affirmations, activities, etc. that help us take life one day at a time and prepare for when things don't go as planned, which is most of the time! |
| I feel most centered after practicing yoga, weightlifting, acupuncture, taking my anxiety medication, spending time with my partner and fur babies, cooking, or reading. I'm super engaged in the online sober community, so that peer support is super helpful, too. |
| Q: | Instead of going out for happy hours or first date drinks, what are some fun alternative plans for people who want to stay sober *and* social? | |
| A: Stick to activities like going to a museum, an escape room, or tea tasting. Focusing on something external, like a piece of artwork or the tannins in your tea, can help take the focus off each other so you can bond over what you're each experiencing. Plus, incorporating some movement can help release anxiety or first-date jitters. |
| The fact that so many people think they can't date, network, or catch up with friends without booze speaks to the ubiquity of alcohol in our culture. I like to remind readers that dating and socializing are inherently alcohol-free. We're just so used to combining the two. |
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| Q: | What do you wish more people knew about how to support their sober or sober curious loved ones? | |
| A: As I said earlier, sobriety is more than just not drinking. It's living in a booze-soaked world, dealing with life on life's terms without alcohol. It can be really hard sometimes. Sober folks need allies, so thank you for holding space for this conversation. |
| Please provide interesting nonalcoholic drinks at your weddings, bachelorette parties, Super Bowl parties, etc. You'll be surprised how many people want NA options but are afraid to ask. |
| If someone you love broke their leg, you'd check in on them to see how their recovery is going. Apply that same empathy to alcohol use disorder recovery. This type of recovery is ongoing, so I feel loved when people check in on my sobriety when I'm super stressed or going through a big life transition. |
| Q: | Can you offer words of support, encouragement, or advice for readers who may be interested in sobriety but don't know where or how to begin? | |
| A: You don't need to hit "rock bottom" to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol. Don't let it get to that point. Be proactive! |
| Some people can take a break from booze without rehab or detox, while others need to look into medically assisted treatment. Deciding to give up alcohol, whether out of sober curiosity or in a life or death situation, can be a really scary time. You're not alone. |
| When you reach for a drink, pay attention to how you feel — both physically and mentally. |
| Are you feeling insecure and hoping this drink will give you some liquid courage? Are you self-medicating after a breakup? Are you feeling great and just want a drink? There are no wrong answers here. Take note of those feelings and discuss them with a therapist or trusted friend. |
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