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I Forgot I Was Beautiful

Week of 01/05/2017 - Featured Blog Post

I Forgot I Was Beautiful

PJDANIELS

This morning when I got ready for work, I put on an outfit I set out last night, meaning, something that actually went together, shoes, the sweater, you know, instead of just throwing on whatever was clean and nearby. I put on makeup, full makeup, instead of just slapping on coverup and being done with it. I dried and straightened my hair, instead of just twisting It into a messy bun.

When I was done, I looked in the mirror and thought, not bad for an old broad, instead of oh well, that's as good as it gets.

On the way to work, I realized that with my most recent lapse, in addition to not taking care of my physical self, not eating well or exercising, I let my emotional self fall by the wayside also. I forgot that my worth is not measured by my girth. I let the negative self talk take over. I was consumed with the guilt over regaining, the feeling of having failed, of having no self control and no self discipline, and I presented myself accordingly. After all, I even had to buy new "fat" pants. From there of course it leads to feeling sorry for myself. Boo hoo.

I forgot I was beautiful.

My face? Oh no, not that kind of beauty. I mean, I forgot that I am a good and kind person. I forgot to be grateful for my many blessings. I forgot that all the people in my life that love me are more important than my dress size. I forgot that I deserved to be treated every bit as well as I treat others. I forgot that I am a good wife, mother, employee and outstanding grammie. I forgot all of the things that make us beautiful human beings. I forgot to use my tools. In fact, I do believe I packed them away for a bit.

I realized that I had forgotten how it all works together, to be well centered I must take care of myself. As I get back on track, step by step, little by little, I feel better about me, more confident, in control, and I remember that I really can do this. I can and am.

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