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Soul Searching and a Spark Epiphany

Week of 02/07/2019 - Featured Blog Post

Soul Searching and a Spark Epiphany

AMETHYSTSTAR

It's been a rough six months health-wise and as a result motivational-wise. I was excited the first of the year, did the usual planning and started out walking and planning my meals but it all quickly petered out. I was so disgusted with myself.

I have been thinking very seriously about just quitting. I have had this litany running through my head for the past week and a half: "Why do you still care? What's the point? Why are you still at this, you're not getting anywhere, why keep trying? You'll only fail...again." I had no good answer...

Then as I was looking through SparkPeople for a reason to keep going, I happened to come across a SparkPeople blog this morning titled "One-Bite Steps." It spoke to me on such a deep level. It sparked the thought (see what I did there? *Grins*) that on a basic level, I need to go back to the beginning. Clean the slate, go back to that moment when I thought it was all possible, find the part of me that believed, then knew, I could accomplish whatever I set my mind and will to do.

I have spent the whole of today ruminating on this. This is NOT how my story ends. I am NOT a failure, I am still down overall, 52 pounds from when I joined SparkPeople. I've reset all my streaks to 0, I'm going into this week with a newbie mentality, one of eagerness, hope, excitement, and determination. I am starting the Spark Program anew. So back to baby steps, tiny goals that will lead to bigger goals. Rebooting my mental system, because, at the end of the day, I know that I'm not a quitter.

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